Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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