so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
