I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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