A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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