he puts the penis in happiness.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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