I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
