maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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