I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
