yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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