So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
