I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
