your parents love me but you hate me
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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