My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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