There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
