i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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