You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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