is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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