It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize