you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
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Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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