I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
