i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
