If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize