It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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