youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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