we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Farmville is her only friend.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
