I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
