i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
