It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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