All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
