erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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