Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
