Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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