ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
