I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
