I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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