thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
