I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
