I'm drive I can fine osifer
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Randomize