you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
