final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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