Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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