Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
They have beer where we have blood.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
