Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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