$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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