She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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