My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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