I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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