So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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