just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize