$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
