Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
