that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize