I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
