last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
