are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
