Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
