How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
