this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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