You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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