Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
